Saturday, October 23, 2010

Relationship Breakups Stink - No Ifs Or Buts








Finding the best ways of handling relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.





There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.





1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be hurting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life. Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.





2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think they were fun before this pain started). Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can. It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.





One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.





Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.


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