Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Proven Method Tricks To Get Him Back - Sneaky Tricks Dont Work




If you're looking for proven method tricks to get him back, I may be able to help... or I may not. It really just depends on what you have in mind. If you truly think that it was a mistake for you and your guy to breakup and that you could have a good relationship with a few changes and a little work, than the information in this article can help. If,on the other hand, you're looking for sneaky ways to trick him into coming back to you with no time or effort on your part, sorry, I can't help.





You see, using tricks to get someone back (the most common one is making them jealous) is a horrible strategy to use. Even if they do come back to you, you will be building your relationship on lies instead of love and trust. No relationship can last or be healthy if it is formed on trickery and games. It's much better to take the high road, put in the time and love required and re build your relationship honestly. That is the only way you and your ex will have a real chance of staying together for the long term.





Another thing to keep in mind is that if there were any type of abuse in your relationship whether it was physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, you shouldn't even consider getting back with him until he has spent some serious time in counseling. If you are considering taking him back even though he hasn't changed, you are an abused woman and you should get counseling too.





It's not enough for him to 'promise' he'll get help, he has to actually sign up and go to meetings for several months before you should even consider a reconciliation.





The actual steps you will take to get your ex back are fairly simple but they will take time and effort. It's best for the overall success of your reconciliation to not have any contact with your ex while you are going through these steps. You need to allow him to miss you and he can't do that if you're still in contact with him.





1. Take stock of the woman you are. This is not about changing so he will want you back, this is about you taking this time to evaluate the type of person you are and deciding what character issues you have that could use some work. This is all about you. We all have personality traits that aren't the best, this is what you need to focus on and fix. Whether you and your ex get back together or not, you will have other relationships and it's always best to take the best version of you into any new relationship.





2.Once you've spent time working on your flaws, you need to look at what the problems in the relationship were, and try to find solutions. It's important to remember, that you can't fix all the problems in your relationship all on your own, you can only fix your own problems. For relationship problems you and your ex will have to be willing to work together.





You and your ex can get back together, but if you want it to last you'll base your relationship on honesty and love and to do that you can use these proven method tricks to get him back, just put emphasis on the method and stay away from the tricks.


What Are The Most Effective Get Him Back Secrets




If you're going through a breakup that you don't want you might be wondering how you can get back with your ex. Are there really any "get him back secrets" and if so, what are they?





If you are looking for some relationship secrets I've got good news and I've got bad news.





The bad news is that there aren't, at least as far as I've ever heard, any secret techniques to get back with your ex. There are no secret potions or love spells or magic tricks that will bring your ex back crawling on his hands and knees just pleading with you to take him back.





The good news is that you don't need secrets. All you need is an easy to follow, simple step by step "road map" that you can use to reconcile with your ex. If you find a good plan and follow it, even though it may be hard sometimes to stick to, the results that you get might have you believing that it was magical after all!





If you truly want to get back with your ex the first thing you need to do, even though this is going to sound weird, is to stop talking to him. If you are constantly contacting him this will likely backfire for a few reasons:





1) He won't be able to miss you. You want him to start to doubt his decision to end the relationship. He needs to miss the times you spent together and the things you did. If you're constantly trying to contact him how can he miss you?





2) If you won't leave him alone you are just becoming an annoyance. That is not how you want him to think of you, is it?





Another thing you have to avoid is the tendency to want to fix the relationship and change yourself so he will come back. While it is important for you to understand what qualities you have that might need some work, you should never change who you are just to accommodate someone else.





If the two of you aren't compatible then it's time for you to move on, no matter how painful it might be. It's simply not healthy for you to reinvent yourself for every relationship you have and it is a good way to find yourself in one abusive relationship after another.





And last, but not least, communicate. That doesn't mean cry, nag, beg or threaten. That means to have an adult conversation where you can openly and honestly explain to him how you're feeling. It's also important that you let him tell you how he is feeling too. This isn't the time to get angry or upset over what he tells you. This needs to be a 'safe zone' for both of you to honestly express yourself.





If you think that your relationship really is worth saving and you want " get him back secrets" than follow the list above. This is an honest and proven way to reconcile with your love.


Relationship Breakup - Dont Be Blindsided








Relationship breakup, what are the signs? Are you worried that your relationship is getting ready to crash and burn? Not sure what signs you should be on the lookout for? No one likes to be blindsided. Being blindsided always results in pain whether physical or emotional. Even if your relationship ends, the pain will be a little less if you can see it coming and brace for impact. There are some signs that all may not be well on the home front, if you keep your eyes open.





The first thing you need to remember is that we are usually pretty good at lying to ourselves. We are remarkably adept at keeping the blinders firmly in place if removing them would be to face certain pain. In the long run though you only do more harm than good by ignoring the inevitable. It's best to see things clearly, if you do you may actually have a chance to change the direction your relationship is taking and prevent the breakup.





Here are some signs that you need to keep an eye out for:





1. If you and your partner used to be joined at the hip but all of a sudden they seem to have a lot of more important things to do, you may be headed for a breakup. Of course, don't be a twit and ignore the fact that they just got a promotion and they're a lot busier at work. If they don't have a reasonable excuse for their sudden absence you may want to sit them down and have a talk with them to try and figure out what is going on.





Make sure that you ask them what the problem is and not accuse them of anything. If you accuse them of something and they are just feeling a little down or overwhelmed you may just give them cause to end the relationship. Be careful to not come off defensively. Stay calm and rational when you talk to them.





2. Does your 'better half' suddenly seem to need a lot of privacy? If their habits change and they become much more private it could be a sign that they are talking to someone and they don't want you to know. If they are suddenly leaving the room to talk on their cell phone, or they are taking their laptop into the other room, you may want to ask them, nicely, what's going on. If they say 'nothing' that might well be your answer since it's obvious that their behavior has changed and if they don't have a good reason why it could be that there isn't a good reason. Again, though, give them the benefit of the doubt. You'd look awfully stupid if you accused them of something when all they were doing was planning a great anniversary trip or surprise birthday party.





3. Sex, do you still have it as often as you once did? Is there a change in who initiates it? If your partner used to always want sex and suddenly they just don't seem interested, it could be a sign that they have found someone else. Of course, it could also be a sign that they're tired, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. Don't jump to conclusions, just ask.





Many times the signs of a relationship breakup are pretty easy to spot, as long as you're not so afraid to see them that you ignore them. By spotting them early you've got a much better shot at dealing with whatever the issues are before the actual breakup. You might just be able to save your relationship by keeping your eyes wide open.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Will She Love Me Again

Will she love me again? This is a question that pops up over and over again in the minds of men who are in a loveless relationship or who have just lost the woman they love. Whatever the situation, this can leave you feeling lost, depressed or hopeless. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are many who've been able to answer "yes" the question of "will she love me again?" and you may be able to do it as well.




Your first step involves thoroughly accessing the situation. Understand the point you are at in the relationship or the end of the relationship. Has your wife told you that she doesn't love you anymore, or do you just feel that way? Has your wife even gone so far as to say that she never wants to see you again? There is a big difference between her not loving you and her hating you (if that is the case). You need to understand the real situation before you can proceed in remedying it.




But, in most cases, before you can go on, you'll need to allow her the space she needs. Even if she hasn't told you that she doesn't love you anymore, her behavior has lead you to question her love. So, rather than pestering her or constantly bringing it up, let her have the time to figure it out.




Obviously, if she has told you to leave her alone, then you know you should be giving her space anyway. At this point, you should clear her from your mind. Stop putting all the focus on how to get her back. Dwelling or obsessing on it is not going to do anything.




Now you need to keep yourself busy with other things, mainly yourself. In this extra time that you now have, start doing some things that you enjoy but never had time to do before (or maybe she didn't like or agree with these things). Also, make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. This will serve when your "distance time" is up and you are ready to approach her again.




You want to transform yourself into an attractive, self-confident, loving, strong person. This means eating the right kinds of foods (and shedding those extra pounds), not drinking too much or giving into some kind of behavior that shows her you've fallen apart without her, getting enough sleep and having some fun. This time off serves both you and her.




It gives her the time she needs to think and to actually see if she misses you when you aren't there, and it gives you the chance to prove to yourself that you can do just fine without her. It might feel like the world is about to end in the beginning, but you'll soon find that you no longer feel that way. This will put you in a good position when and if you decide to go back and try once again with her. And then you too can answer "yes" to the question of "Will she love me again?"

Navigating The 5 Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup








The following emotional stages of a relationship breakup are only guidelines to help you navigate through a difficult time to a happier ending. What's important to understand is that even though they are uncomfortable, each of the following feelings are quite normal.





What follows are often referred to as the "five emotional stages of grief". Each of the concepts apply just as easily to a relationship breakup. The major difference is that some of the stages can happen while the relationship is still in tact.





The first stage is denial. There are plenty of stories about spouses and significant others who justified the odd behavior of an ex before a breakup.





"Oh, he probably got lipstick on his collar when he accidentally bumped into someone."





"She didn't call to tell me she was going to be late because she was too busy with work."





Those are two rather blatant examples that may not apply, but how about this one? "We don't argue that much, we just like to discuss our problems." Open communication is great, but not when it's used as an excuse for calling each other names and saying hurtful things. You have to make an honest assessment of your relationship if you want it to succeed, denial prevents that from happening. If you are able to recognize and correct things at the denial stage, then you may not have to worry about the rest.





Anger and resentment may be the most common of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup. You broke up, and now you're mad at your ex. Even if deep down you know it was mostly your fault, you find reasons to be mad at them. You have to let go of the anger and resentment before you can move on. Plus, it is much better for your overall health when you're not carrying around so much anger.





Trying to patch things up is a worthy goal, but resorting to negotiation (the next stage) isn't the best way to go about it. Here you will say and do anything to get your ex back. You will change, make promises, and do "whatever it takes". But you're not really thinking them through. More than likely they do not fit in with your character and will be impossible for you to follow through on. When you notice you're using the word "if" a lot, it's a sure sign you are at this stage.





Depression as one of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup can really pop up at just about any time in the process. You may believe that you could never love somebody the same way again, or worse, that nobody will ever love you again. Regardless of when it occurs, be willing to seek professional help if you need it.





The final stage is acceptance. It's just like it sounds. You have come to terms with your relationship and accept whatever has happened. You start feeling better (not necessarily great, but better) and are ready to start being yourself again.





Remember, these five stages are just a guideline. You may not experience all of them, and they may be in a different order and vary in their intensity. Now that you are aware of the stages, it will be easier to get through them if the situation arises.


Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back








Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake. It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back. These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.





If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips. Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly. If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.





Try these tips as you work toward getting your exgirlfriend back:





• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship. Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.





• Be kind whenever you see her. Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment. This will show her that you still care about her.





• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you. Let her express herself and do not interrupt. Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.





• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up. Work on changing these habits. For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested. Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.





Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back. Avoid doing any of these:





• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex. This is not attractive at all.





• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.





• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back. This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship. And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.





By following these tips, you should be able to work towards getting your exgirlfriend back. Good luck!


Relationships - Break Up To Make Up




This is your guide: Relationships – Break Up to Make Up. The break up may be just the first stage in getting back together with an ex.





If you had been dating for any length of time, you and your ex had a lot invested in the relationship. You obviously loved and cared for each other. But something went wrong and one of you decided to call it quits. How you handle the relationship break up may have a lot to do with whether you can ever make up.





If you are the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion. Whether you are truly calling it quits or just wanting a time out, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.





It’s generally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place. That’s because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around. Also, don’t draw the break up out. Just say your piece and leave.





Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open. Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.





Don’t play games with your ex. Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.





If you have found that you want to get back together with your ex, consider the following:





· Tell them that you are interested



· Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends



· Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.





Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity. During this time, you can bring up the positive memories you shared. You can also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.





If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, don’t assume that you can start right back where you left off. Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates. Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.





Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up. Don’t assume that your ex’s feelings weren’t hurt by the cooling off period.





Continue improving yourself. Don’t fall into bad habits just because you’ve got your ex back. Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.





That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.


Why Is My Boyfriend Acting The Way He Is - 4 Questions To Ask Yourself








Long and serious relationships can often be difficult to deal with and to understand. Both parties need to take the time to work through issues to understand what is going wrong in their relationship, and what they can do to fix it. Both people in the relationship need to work to fully understand the other to have a successful relationship.





There are plenty of different girlfriend that ask, 'why is my boyfriend acting the way he is?'. While these women are often confused, they fail to take the time to truly understand what is going on in their relationship. These four questions to ask yourself may help you to better understand why your boyfriend is acting weird, or if you are simply worrying about nothing.





Have You Been Acting Differently?





One of the first things that you should look into is your own thoughts and actions. Take the time to think about the way that you have been acting to your boyfriend. Have you been acting weird or different? Your boyfriend's actions and changes may be a direct result of your own actions and changes.





Is He Stressed?





Think about all of the different things that your boyfriend may be going through. Is it a stressful week at the workplace? Is he dealing with family issues, friend issues, or college issues? Your boyfriend may simply be stressed, and may be acting differently because of that stress.





Did You Miss an Important Date?





We can all be forgetful sometimes, missing dates and events that may be important to the people that we love. Think about the last month or two; did you miss a date or event that was important? Your boyfriend may be acting weird because he feels as if you do not care about things that are important to him, or dates that are important to him.





Have You Talked to Him About It?





The most important thing for you to do is to talk to your boyfriend about the way that he is acting. He may be able to tell you that he does not mean to act differently, and that there is nothing behind it. He may also tell you that there is something wrong, helping to bring the issue to light. Talking to your boyfriend about how he may be acting weird is the best way to approach the situation.





It is important for you to work to better understand your boyfriend and his actions. Some will find that their boyfriend is not acting weird, and that they are simply worrying about nothing. There are others who will find that there boyfriend is acting weird, and that a simple conversation will help to bring the problem to light. Taking the time to ask these questions to yourself will make it easier for you to answer the question of 'why is my boyfriend acting the way he is?'.


Relationship Self Help - Simple Relationship Tips




Believe it or not there are some very simple relationship self help techniques that you can apply to your relationship to regain some of the closeness you once felt for each other. It is really too bad that day to day challenges get in the way of the love you have for each other and put it all on the back burner.





If things do not get switched to the front burner every now and then it seems as if they almost get forgotten and then the harder it is to remember where to find them again. It is as if you went from not being able to keep your hands off of each other in the beginning to rarely ever touching each other after five years.





To keep a relationship alive, touching is very important. It shows the other that even though there are a million and three things that need to be dealt with, you are trying to stay connected, even in some small way. Hold hands wherever you go, walking down the street, riding in the car, sitting and watching TV together, whatever. Also, reach out and touch your partner even as you just walk by them. This will make them feel loved and let them know you care.





Did you know that research shows that if you talk to your partner about anything and everything throughout your relationship it is less likely that either one of you will explode over something huge. Know why? Because if the lines of communication are open for the little things, then they will stay open for the bigger things that come along. Learning to communicate effectively is the single most important relationship self help technique you can do to improve or maintain your relationship.





Another technique you can use is to try to remember the things you like and love about your partner. Stop focusing on the things that annoy you and turn your attention back to the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Those little annoyances creep in and soon become big annoyances and then they just seem to take over and dwarf everything else that really counts in your relationship.





Last, but not least, do you spend all your time together or not enough time together? Either way can be damaging to a relationship. Too much time together can cause those little annoyances we talked about to rear their ugly heads a lot sooner and also encourage boredom. Think about it, if you are spending every waking moment together you will end up not having a single thing to talk about. So, spend some time away from each other every once in a while. Miss each other. You will come back to the relationship with a new appreciation for your partner, not to mention maybe a good story or two to share.





Using one or all of these relationship self help techniques will help keep your relationship strong and healthy and your love alive and well.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Stop My Divorce








Divorces are at an all time high. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.





People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”





There are three steps to stopping a divorce.





The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.





If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.





Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.





The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.





Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.





You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.





Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back.





Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.


Serious Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend




When you first get into a relationship, you are simply excited about your new love. You will often avoid many important relationship topics and conversations when you first fall in love with someone. With that being said, there are multiple questions and topics that should be covered by these who are in a more relationship. These are some of the serious questions to ask your boyfriend as you relationship continues to get more serious.





What Do You Think about Kids?





If you find that your relationship is getting more and more serious, you need to start thinking about your future goals. If you are dead-set on having a kid, and your boyfriend is dead-set on not having children, you may have an issue. While it may not be grounds to break up right away, it is something to keep in the back of your mind as you find your relationship to be more serious.





Is This Long Term?





You need to be upfront with your boyfriend about your wants and needs. IF you are looking for a long-term relationship, you need to tell them this. They will then be able to tell you whether or not they are on the same page.





What Are Your Thoughts on Monogamy?





It is important to be on the same page as far as monogamy is concerned. You need to ask this relatively soon. Be clear and firm about your stance on the issue, and make sure that you clearly understand their thoughts on monogamy as well.





Am I a Priority?





Talk to your boyfriend about their priority list. While you should not expect to be first on the list of priorities, you should not be last. Find out where you rank in their life to fully understand how committed they are to you and your relationship.





Do You Love Me?





This simple question may seem pointless, and may not seem serious. This question can actually have a strong purpose. When you ask your boyfriend if they love you, you are reaffirming their feelings. Sometimes, it is simply good to be verbally reassured that they love you and care about you.





Are You Willing to Work for Our Relationship?





Relationships are not easy to maintain. They require work and patience to be successful. You need to talk to your boyfriend about your relationship to understand if they are willing to do the work necessary to maintain a good and healthy relationship.





It is important to space these questions out; do not ask them all at once. While you want to have serious talks, you do not want to bombard your boyfriend with serious questions. IT is also important to keep an understanding tone while talking about these questions. An accusatory tone can ruin your relationship.





You should be asking these questions to understand your boyfriend. You need to think about serious questions to ask your boyfriend to ensure that you are not surprised by something later on in your relationship.


Want A Happy Marriage - Search For The Glue That Will Hold You Together

If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together. That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to.

Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic. But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy. Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together.

People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time. While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated. You want your kids to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow.

In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them. This doesn't mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful. You need to develop good listening skills - God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you. Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss.

Spend time together - this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together. Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn't count. If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time.

If your intimate relationship needs some work, don't ignore it. Mutual attraction and lust played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. It is completely natural for the overwhelming urge to jump on each other to wear off but you should still find each other attractive. The good news is that the more you make love, the more your body will want it. Making love releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings. Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn't take that much effort anymore!

Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don't put your head in the sand. Read books like the Magic of Making Up and apply some of their teachings. You want a happy marriage? Search and apply the techniques that work for other people and you can be as happy as you wish.

Saving A Relationship - 1st Step And Beyond




The first step in saving a relationship is to determine if it is worth saving. Do you still love each other? If the answer is yes then, by any means possible, try to save it.





There are no doubt walls have built up between you. Whatever the reason is for those walls to have been built, get rid of them. If this is going to work you must both agree to start with a clean slate and just forget about what brought you here to begin with. Everything will get worked out in time.





Time. Your relationship did not get this bad overnight and it will not get fixed overnight either. So, understand that if it is to be fixed it will take some time. The sooner you start, the sooner your relationship will be back to normal.





Try to look at the situation from your partner's point of view. This will give you a new perspective on the problem or problems affecting things so negatively. Too often when things start to go bad, one or both people in the relationship go into what they think is survival mode and figure it is every man or woman for themselves. You stop working and thinking as a team. No relationship can survive without teamwork.





The best way to get your partner's perspective on the relationship is to sit down with them and ask them what they think. Never be so presumptuous as to insist you know what your partner is thinking. You could be dead wrong and that would only make things worse.





So, when first inviting your partner to sit and talk about saving a relationship, make sure that any ego or pride is left at the door. Remember the saying, "Pride goeth before the fall." Make up your mind, do you want your pride or do you want your partner? You most likely cannot have both. If you choose your pride then your relationship will fall.





Set the ground rules for your talk. First, let your partner have the floor and let them get everything out on the table. Show your partner some respect and do not comment or interrupt them when they are speaking. Wait patiently for your turn and then focus only on the issues at hand. Take notes if you need to so you can respond to whatever it is they want to say.





Stay cool, calm, and collected, do not get angry at them for voicing their opinions and make sure when it is your turn they know that they should do the same. The only way this will be effective is if the hurt and anger stays at the door with the pride.





Whatever the issues are talk each one through to a solution. Do not leave anything unresolved. This may mean you have to have more than one session with each other. Do not get too busy for these sessions, make appointments if you need to and stick to them. Anything that gets left behind will just fester like a splinter in your finger and pretty soon the infection will spread to the bloodstream of the relationship and your relationship will die from sepsis.





Saving a relationship takes time and effort on both parts. Taking the time and making the effort shows each other you are committed to doing what needs to be done to keep your relationship strong.


Relationship Advice for Men - It's Evolutionary




So much different relationship advice for men is out there that it can be difficult to figure out what really works. So, what do men need to know if they are interested in a more relationship? The most important bit of advice is to look at what women really want, based on their actions, as opposed to assuming what they say is 100% accurate.





The question then becomes one of being able to identify what their actions are. And the best way to do that is to observe the type of men they end up, regardless of what they say they want. While women may say they want a sensitive man with a good sense of humor, and one that listens; they go out with men who aren't sensitive, make plenty of money, dominate conversations, and may or may not be all that funny.





The reason why women do this may surprise you. It's not because they don't know what they really want, it's because they don't know that they know what they really want. Okay, that may sound confusing, but it isn't. What we are talking about is the subconscious mind, and that's where the best relationship advice for men comes from.





It all comes down to one thing: The propagation of the species. This has been the underlying factor since the dawn of humanity, and its power is found in both men and women. While having children with a particular man may be the furthest thing from her mind (as far as she knows), deep down in the subconscious, she is evaluating mates for their ability to be a good father for her potential family.





We then get back to the things women say they want. Does having a good sense of humor mean he will be a strong protector and bread winner for the family? Not really. And it's the sense of security and ability to provide food for the family that the subconscious is most concerned with.





Let's take a quick look at biology to see why this is so important. Men have the ability to reproduce for, in theory, from the onset of puberty until they die; that's a big window of opportunity. On the other hand, women have a much smaller window in which they can viably reproduce. Therefore, women can't afford to gamble, and need a partner that will be able to provide for the long-term.





In today's world, these deep-seated desires manifest themselves in various ways. In past centuries women may have dreamt of marrying royalty, as they were the ultimate providers. Today, princes and kings have been replaced by athletes, celebrities and rock stars. Another bit of evidence is the engagement ring. It not only shows that the man has the ability to provide, but also that he is will to share the fruits of his labor (and you thought it was simply romantic).





So, when it comes to relationship advice for men, don't worry about all the static and conflicting viewpoints. All you really need to do is dig down to the subconscious level to see what women really want, no matter what they think they want.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Relationship Breakups Stink - No Ifs Or Buts








Finding the best ways of handling relationship breakups is a skill no one wants to be able to perfect. In this case practice may make perfect but no on wants to endure the pain, confusion and humiliation once, let alone several times during their lives. The truth is though that most of us will go through it at least a couple of times. And though it sucks, having some idea of the best way to get through it may just help you keep yourself sane the next time it happens.





There is no pill, potion, or spell that will take the pain away. The one thing that will take the pain away is time, sorry, but that's the truth. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do that will help lessen the pain, or at least distract you from it for a little while. There are many things that can do that. Just make sure when you are struggling to find something to dull the pain a little that you don't fall into the trap of using destructive things because that will only cause more pain in the long run.





1. Give yourself a very limited time to wallow, I didn't say grieve, that will take as long as it takes. What I'm talking about is the "don't get dressed, eat nothing but ice cream, and don't leave your house for a week" wallowing. That has to be a limited time offer. It can be up to a week, but that's it. Even though you'll still be hurting after a week it's time to get back out in the world and live your life. Before you move out of this stage though you should put away all the pictures and knick knacks that remind you of your ex. You probably shouldn't throw them away, you might want to some day, but wait until you're out of pain and you're sure you want to get rid of them. For now just stow them away in the basement or attic, out of sight.





2. Once you've gotten past the wallowing and you're in the 'I'm alive, though barely' stage spend as much time as possible doing things that are fun (or at least you used to think they were fun before this pain started). Spend as much time doing positive things with positive people as you can. It won't take away the pain but it may dull it for short periods of time and that can help enormously.





One word of caution: do not get involved with anyone sexually or romantically at this point. You're not ready and you'll either feel guilty afterward or you'll hurt an innocent person. Just take some time to be on your own romantically until your truly ready to move on, and if you really loved your ex, that won't happen for a while.





Relationship breakups stink, sorry, but there's no polite way to say it. Just do what you can to move through the grieving stage as quickly and easily as possible and believe that some day you will meet someone wonderful, again.


The Keys To Fixing A Broken Relationship








There is nothing wrong with fixing a broken relationship, but some ways of doing so are better than others. We'll take a look at what you can do, and what you should avoid, to patch things up. Salvaging your current relationship, or getting back together will require a lot of effort. No matter what Hollywood likes to tell you, long-lasting relationships don't magically happen.





Before you even begin you have to ask yourself why you want it to be fixed? if you are doing it because you know "it will be different this time", then it may be a good idea to re-think your position





Many couples split because of one thing: distrust. Fixing a broken relationship requires honesty from this point forward. You have to be honest about who you are, who your mate is and what being together means to you. One point related to honesty is that you can't change other people. You can change yourself, but don't fool yourself thinking things will be better after you change your significant other.





Be careful that you don't lay it on too thick. You may want to show how enthusiastic you are about mending things, but be careful that you don't cross the line into overdoing it. Most people don't respond well to being overwhelmed, and are likely to pull back the more you push. Even if that isn't your intention, you have to think about how you're being perceived. Understand that no matter how much you want to fix things, it takes two people to make it work. If your ex isn't ready to mend things, you have to be ready to give them more time and space.





Now that you understand what to avoid, you will need an action plan before you can start fixing a broken relationship. Here are the three steps you need to take to set things right, and to keep them that way.





Identify: Before you can do anything, you need to know what's wrong. Take a look at the areas in your relationship that you would like to be better. This could be you, your mate, or the relationship itself. While you can only change yourself, being aware





Fix: Once you know where improvement is needed, it's time to solve the problem. This may require any different number of approaches. Chances are you won't get it right the first time, but keep trying until you are able to resolve the issue that's putting a strain on your relationship.





Maintain: No relationship is perfect. Be on constant alert for potential problem spots and take care of them as soon as possible. It is much easier to fix things sooner rather than later. Things will always pop up that need your and your better half's attention.





You can see that fixing a broken relationship may not always be the best thing to do, it's never that easy, but if you want to do it, it is possible to be a happier couple. Just follow the tips mentioned above and you will see how good things can be.


The Real Marriage Test




If you have ever thumbed through a magazine that regularly discusses relationships, whether it be a men's or women's magazine, chances are you have seen various types of quizzes. One of the more common quizzes is the marriage test. You answer a few silly questions, and then check your answers to get some supposedly deep insight into you relationship.





There is nothing wrong with such quizzes, and they can be a fun way to pass some while waiting for a doctor's appointment. As long as you only take them for what they are--a source of entertainment--then there is no real harm in taking them. Besides, if you have ever taken them, you have probably noticed one or two things. First, the explanation of your score is so far off that it's downright laughable. Second, the explanations are so general that they could apply to virtually any relationship you have ever been in; good or bad.





It is probably a safe assumption that no marriage test in a magazine has ever saved a marriage. They are fun and have their place, but fixing a relationship isn't it; no matter what the maker of the quiz claims. However, there is a test you can use to help make your marriage stronger. You won't find it any magazine, but not to worry, the questions of this marriage test are below.





Before you take the test, you need to decide which way works best for you. Will each of you take it separately with a pen and paper, or will you discuss the answers as you take the test? Either way, the main goal is to spark a good discussion about your marriage. This is important because good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy marriage.





1. How do you envision our future? This is a good question because it will show if you have drifted apart, or if you are still together in the things you want from the relationship. It's far better to know where each of you stands instead of making assumptions. But, as long as you both seeing you being together, then it's possible to work out the details.





2. What do you want from the marriage and life? The purpose of this question is to not only see what the ideal marriage means to each other, but to also see what the bigger life questions mean. Over the years people change, so you may be surprised to learn how your spouse answers this question, and vice-versa.





3. What's the one thing you would change? By asking this you will get an idea of where the problem areas of your marriage are. Don't take it personally, but be happy that you get a chance to learn where you can make improvements.





4. What could I do better? Be careful here. You need to make sure there is enough respect before you ask this question. The one answer you don't want to hear is "nothing". The truth is that none of us are perfect, and that means there is always room to do better. Your spouse should feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth, and you should feel confident enough to hear it.


Relief For When Your Best Friend Is In A Rebound Relationship With Your Ex




A relationship breakup can be a devastating experience for anyone. But in some cases, the people in your life make the situation even worse. Sometimes, you will find that your best friend is in a rebound relationship with your ex. It can be incredibly confusing, disheartening, and disappointing. Some people will simply be sad when this happens. Others will become angry and confused. If your best friend in rebound relationship with ex, there are a few things that you need to do.





Vent





You need to be able to vent to someone about the issue. You can easily have a rush of emotions when you find that your best friend is dating your ex. If you find this to be the case, you need to tell someone how you feel. Getting all of your anger and frustration out to someone is a necessary step.





If this is something that is making you sad, you need to cry on someones shoulder. Venting will allow you to calm down a little. Venting may help you feel better, and may help you to clear out your head.





Be Angry and Upset





In general, people will tell you to calm down when you realize that your best friend is dating your ex. It is normal to feel angry and upset, however. Most people want to keep their exes to themselves. While they may not be dating, they want to hold their memories with them close. A friend dating the ex could ruin those memories.





If this happens to you, it is OK to be angry and upset. Find a release that allows you to get all of your anger and frustration out. Go to a gym and work out, or work on your favorite hobby. Do whatever you need to do to allow yourself to be both angry and upset for a while.





Re-Evaluate your Friendship





At some point, you need to re-evaluate your friendship with the person who is now dating your ex. You need to think about the entire situation before you write them off. If you are not careful, you may ruin a good friendship over someone you are not even dating anymore.





You need to think about boundaries. Did you clearly state to them that you do not want them dating your ex? How would they feel about the exact same situation? Understand what they are going through as well before you make any decisions about your friendship.





At first, a friend dating an ex can be an incredibly tough situation. Your heart may still be broken, and you may find that it makes it even worse. It is important to know that it is OK to feel angry and upset. It is OK to vent to someone about the situation. This will help you to make the right decision about your friendship in the end.


Why Men Leave Relationships




If you are a women who is struggling to keep your relationship intact and you want to know why men leave relationships, this is the article for you. As humans, we have the tendency to make things more complicated than they have to be. This is compounded by some misconceptions that are strongly rooted in our society.





Many people have heard the saying: "Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love". The problem is that doesn't have to be the way it is. While there might be some truth to that it just perpetuates a common flaw in our way of thinking: that men want and need sex more than women and that sex is all men need to be happy.





That's simply not true. For the most part men and women have similar sex drives but our society, and really throughout history, men have been encouraged to 'sow their wild oats' and women have been told they have to be 'good girls'. So men are used to giving in to their desires and women are used to putting their desires on hold.





No wonder relationships seem like such a challenge! Half the population doesn't feel like they have any control over their urges and the other half feels like their urges are wrong!





For anyone who wants a stable loving relationship you will need to re-think many of the concepts you were brought up to believe. The truth is that anyone, men or women, will leave unfulfilled relationships and all but the most shallow people want to be fulfilled in many ways not just sexually.





In order to really have a loving long term relationship you need to have connections: physical, spiritual, and emotional. These are necessary for the success of any long term relationship. All people want to feel like they are accepted, understood, desired, and loved by their partners.





When one or more of these needs aren't met the relationship will start to fall apart. For any women who wants to know why men leave relationships so they can prevent it from happening to them, just remember to connect with your man on all of these levels, and both of you will be happy, fulfilled, and committed to the relationship forever.


What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Is Wanting To Get Back Together




Breaking up is something that is incredibly hard to do. Eventually, people move on and go on to new relationships and new adventures. Sometimes, someone who was in the relationship wants to get back together. It can be confusing to understand what to do when your ex girlfriend wanting to get back together. If you follow a few simple steps and tips, however, you can be sure to handle the situation correctly.





Ask for Space





The first thing that you need to do is ask for space. Do so gently, and with the understanding that you are taking this time to think about what she is saying. You need to make sure that you are not smothered. You want to make the right decision. Her emotions are running high, and they may skew your thoughts positively or negatively. Simply ask for some space. If possible, give her a timeline. This will help her to understand how much space you need.





Take Your Mind Off of It





After you are approached, you need to take your mind off of the entire situation. You may feel a rush of emotion when she asks you back. Take a day to take your mind off of the issue so that you can approach the idea with a clear head. Hang out with friends and do things that you enjoy doing. This should help you to take your mind off of the situation.





Consider Your Situation





When you are able to start thinking about getting back together, think about your current situation. Could you handle a girlfriend again? Would you be willing to give a few things up to have that relationship again? If you think that your situation would not be good for a relationship, and you are not willing to change, you may not be ready.





Think About Why You Broke Up





Finally think about why you broke up. Was it your idea or hers? Was it something that she did, or something that you did? If it is something that is changeable or fixable, are you willing to do the work, or give it another chance? This should also help you to decide whether or not you want to get back together.





In Short





It is important to think about yourself in this situation. While you may have your ex girlfriend wanting to get back together, you need to do the right thing for you. Ask for some space when she first approaches you. Do so in a way that helps her to understand that you need time to think, and that you need some space to do so. From that point, take your mind off of it. You want to think clearly. When you are ready to do so, think about your situation, and why you broke up. This should help you to understand what you want to do.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Your Keys To Dealing A With Break Up




Dealing with a break up is never an easy thing to do. If you find you're having difficulty coping with things after a relationship has come to an end, don't worry, you are experiencing a perfectly normal reaction. However, you can't spend the rest of your life trying to deal with a failed relationship.





There are two main options available to you for dealing with a break up. The first option is to let it keep eating away at you and to let it rip you apart, figuratively speaking. This is similar to the idea of "that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger". Well, that may be true, to some degree, but that doesn't mean it's the best choice for coping with your new situation. The second option is to face it head on and work through it. The first option you can do without any help, though it is not advised. With that in mind, here are some thoughts on the second option.





Break ups can leave a deep emotional impact, but that doesn't mean you have to let a break up destroy you as a person. You will do much better from a survival standpoint if you are able to continually remind yourself that one incident is not what defines you. It's difficult for any relationship to come to an end, whether it's a marriage of more than twenty years, or a romantic fling of a few months. Depending on the circumstances it can be easy to let it have a negative impact on your self-esteem. If this is the case, don't hesitate to get some help from a counselor or even a trusted friend. Just remember that you don't have to go through this alone. It's better to handle these problems before they get out of hand.





It's not easy. Anybody who has been through a break up would agree with that. Sometimes just knowing others have gone through the same thing can bring some comfort. Talk about it, but not in a negative way as this will only push away the people most willing to help. Just find somebody else that can relate to what you're going through. Yes, your situation is different, and nobody else can truly understand what you're going through, but even a little bit of understanding can go a long way.





The other important part of dealing with a break up is to not obsess over it. You still have a life to live, so live it. Even if you just have to go through the motions for a while, it's vital that you try to hold on to some semblance of normalcy. You may want to avoid the places and things you most closely associate with your ex, at least for a while. Now, you can't avoid the whole world, so there will be times when you just need to face things and handle them as good as you can.


Write Your Own Heartbroken Poem To Heal








There are few things that compare to being in a happy, loving relationship. Being able to share your life with somebody else is on of the highlights of our existence. But, if you have ever broken up with somebody, then you know that the reverse is also true; being alone is heartbreaking.





Writing a poem as the result of being heartbroken isn't all that uncommon. Perhaps you have written them in other situations where you have been sad about something, such as the loss of a family member or pet, leaving friends behind or other events. Although it seems that nothing else inspires the writing of such sad poetry as a divorce or break up.





Why do people turn to poetry? Because it is such a special method of self-expression. Also, as long as you aren't worried about being published, you can write whatever you choose. No need to worry about how good it is.





There's also no need to understand the rules of different poetic forms. Forget meter and rhyming schemes and all of the other conventions of academic poetry. The goal is to feel better, not get a good grade. You are expressing yourself, not trying to conform. On the other hand, some people like the rules, and find it helps them to better share their feelings on paper.





To get over the pain of a break up it is vital to face the pain head on as soon as possible. You may want to run away from the situation or try to avoid the pain, but it will not go away on its own - it needs to be confronted. This can be difficult, and writing things down in the form of a heartbroken poem can help get you on the right path to feeling better after breaking up with somebody you cared deeply about.





So how do you do it? Just start writing. Use imagery and special words that capture how you feel, or use simple words in a simple way. There is no right or wrong way to do it.





You are doing this for your benefit. Do not try to write like the classic poets of centuries gone by. Be you. If you like, you can ever write everything down in a prose style, and then go through and make it more poetic. Whatever works for you.





Now that you have one poem done, write another one, then another. Explore different parts of your painful experience. Don't wallow in your pity...get it out of your system. While it may seem like you are just writing words, many people find writing poetry to be a very emotional experience. At the same time it can also be cathartic. Leading you from pain to happiness as you write more and more.





You do not ever have to share, but if you feel you would like to, or that it could help others, then by all means, go ahead and share. You can show them to people directly or post them online. Furthermore, if you want it, some sites will let others critique your work. But when it comes to your heartbroken poem it's up to you.


Your Question - How To Get My Wife To Love Me Again - Your Answer Here




It's a tough one you've been asking yourself for a while now. . . "How to get my wife to love me again?"





There are many avenues that need to be explored when coming up with an answer to your question and of course the answers depend on your specific situation and circumstances. But there are some basic strategies that any man can apply towards gaining his wife's love back.





First, you need to figure out why your wife has stopped loving you (or why she says that she doesn't love you anymore, even if that may not be true).





What are some common reasons for this?





Reason Number 1:



I've lost my wife's love because I had an affair and she found out.





Reason Number 2:



My wife found someone new that she feels is better than me.





Reason Number 3:



I haven't stuck to my promises and agreements. I promised her that I would change my attitude or some of the things that annoy her but I haven't done so. This has lead to disappointment and loss of hope on her part.





Reason Number 4:



I neglected my wife in her eyes. I didn't give her the love and attention she needed.





Reason Number 5: I tried to control everything she did. I didn't allow my wife enough freedom and space to do what she wanted.





Once you've identified the reason or combination of reasons, you can start to go to work on the problem. Many marriages that fail do so because the real problems aren't really understood. Communication is a huge part of making the marriage work - and men think differently than women so even if you think you know how your wife feels about something (because that's the way you feel), chances are you probably don't. So talk to her.





Without the right communication, it's really hard to resolve and kind of conflict, big or small. The right kind of communication will allow your damaged relationship to start recuperating and later to thrive if you give your wife the opportunity to share her dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with you.





If your wife has conceded to trying in the marriage again, don't just go back to what wasn't working. Keep things interesting, do little things to show your wife how much you love and appreciate her or do something pleasantly surprising.





Keeping your promises is another important part of the equation. If you haven't kept your promises in the past, start doing so now. Your past broken promises have no doubt ruined the trust in your relationship but you can start repairing that now.





Finally, give your wife the space and time she needs. Let her know that you are there for her but don't smother her.





Hopefully the above information is enough to get you started working on your solving your big concern of "How to get my wife to love me again".


Win Over The Man You Love Dating - 4 Tips








Tired of dating? Want to move your relationship to the next level? Want to win over man you love dating? Well, if you go about it in the right way, you'll greatly increase the chances of making it work out just the way you hoped it would. Of course, your idea of what exactly the 'next level' is and his may be two different things. Your idea of the next level may be marriage, to him it may just mean living together, or vice a versa. Make sure that when you talk about the next level that you clearly define what exactly that means to you.





Here are some easy steps you can follow that may help 'push' things along:





1. Talk to him. Tell him what you want. Be careful how you approach this because you don't want to sound whiny or needy (if this is something you really want and you really feel strongly about it's easy to sound a little desperate if you're not careful). Again, don't just tell him you want to take things to the next level, be clear on what that means to you.





2. It's important that you don't push the issue. It's great to bring it up after all, you can't expect him to read your mind can you? You just have to make sure that you're going to be able to accept whatever he wants without getting upset. If the two of you have been together for a while and this topic has never come up it's almost a sure bet that he isn't interested in taking things to the next level, if he were he would have already brought it up (of course, it's possible that he's just shy or afraid to bring it up because he didn't know what you'd say and he got scared).





3. If he isn't interested in making any changes then have a mature, calm, conversation with him and ask him to explain what he means. Does he mean that he can see the two of you moving forward some time in the future, but he's just not ready right now? Or does he mean he doesn't see your relationship going much further than it is right now? These may be tough questions to ask, and tough answers to hear, but it's important that you find out where he's at when it comes to your relationship.





4. If the two of you have the same basic idea of where the relationship will go, you're just not on the same page when it comes to a time line, than that's actually ok. At least you both see the relationship heading in the same direction. If your guy doesn't see any future in the relationship you're going to have to face a really tough decision: stay or go. Many women will stay and think that they can change his mind, and maybe you can, but you shouldn't. Even if you can talk him (or threaten him) into moving the relationship along, is that really the best foundation for a future? You had to force someone to be with you? No so much, it'll be hard but you are better off just moving on.





Many people find themselves in a great relationship and they want to take things to the next level, whatever that may mean to them. If you want to stop dating and move up to the next level you can follow this advice to win over man you love dating and move things along a bit faster.


Women Men Love And Women Men Leave

There are two types of women in the world, women men love women men leave. Which one are you? It doesn't really matter which side you fall on at this point, if you read and use the information in this article you can become the women men love for the rest of your life.




The first step to make sure your man will love you the way you want to be loved, is to know what it is your man needs in the relationship and then give it to him. This seemingly simple thing is messed up more often than you would believe. Many women will think this means to be completely subservient to their man and do whatever he wants even if she doesn't want to do it.




Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality no man (unless he's "damaged goods" which you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyway) wants a women who is a door mat. A real man will like his women to have a mind of her own, but he also wants her to be his biggest fan.




Women tend to think that if they give their man all the sex he wants, and if they dress up in sexy lingerie they are meeting all their mans needs. Again, if that is truly all your man needs you might want to find a man with a little more depth. It's a misconception that all men want is sex. Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship, for men and women, but it shouldn't be the do all, end all in any relationship, if it is your relationship will fail, it's just a matter of time.




In order to really form a long lasting bond you need to base your relationship on more than just physical intimacy. Whether we like it or not, we will all get older and as we do sex will become more difficult for various physical reasons. If your whole relationship is just based on physical intimacy, how can it survive once that is taken out of the equation?




The women that men leave, believe it or not, are the women who try too hard to be whatever he wants. Your man needs to feel special and loved, admired, and desired, but it won't mean very much to him if it doesn't seem sincere. If he feels like you are just being pliable he will quickly get bored and move on to someone more 'real'.




So for all you women out there, you do have a choice. You can be either type of women: women men love women men leave. It's entirely up to you. It doesn't mean giving up your own identity, it just means trying to understand your man and what he really wants and needs from you.

How To Catch A Cheating - The Tools You Need To Do It Successfully!


You need to find out the truth! Catch your cheating spouse, and with time the heart ache, the pain and that aching gut feeling will go away. You need to be observant of changes in your spouse life and in your spouse schedule. Is he/she all of a sudden starting a yoga class every Thursday that you are not invited to? Is he/she all of a sudden very interested in the way he/she looks and appears? If you are looking for the answer to the question - How to catch a cheating husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend?

4 ways, how to catch a cheating.

Paper trace - Go through all papers you can think of that can leave a trace on an affair. Credit card bills - look for suspicious purchases like restaurant visits, hotel stays or gifts that you never received. ATM withdraws - For a cheater not to leave trace on the credit card bills he/she will use a lot of cash, look for big amounts taken out, where and when the money are taken out. Cell phone bills - look for suspicious numbers that will show up over and over again. Is there a system that your spouse calls his/her lover on the way back from work, right before walking in the front door in your house? Look through pockets, the car, drawers any place you can think of finding a note.

GPS - Attach a GPS to your spouse car and you will find out exactly where your spouse has been. This is solid evidence the GPS will not lie. A cheaper way of GPS is to jump in your car and fallow your spouse...

Computer - Your spouse is most likely communicating over the computer with his/her lover. You can find out every email sent and received, login and keywords, every website visited and much more on your spouse computer. Install a computer spyware and you will find out exactly what is going on, on your spouse computer.

Cell phone - Your spouse will communicate with his/her lover over his/her cell phone. A cell phone leaves traces, check the cell phone bill for a suspicious number. If you can get hold of the phone, a cheater is often very protective of their phone, check called and received numbers. Is there a number showing up over and over again? When you do get hold of the number use a reverse phone lookup to find out who is calling your spouse.

How to catch a cheating husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, for more information visit us today and get all the tools you need to catch YOUR spouse cheating!








Catch your cheating husband or boyfriend NOW!

Catch your cheating wife or girlfriend NOW!

Veronica L is a successful freelance writer and the owner of Is My Man Cheating? and Is My Wife or Girlfriend Cheating?


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Learn How to Spy on a Cheating Husband Now


So, you want to learn how to spy on a cheating husband do you? That is a pretty extreme thing and you have to realise that if you are caught you may have a lot of explaining to do yourself. This should not be a problem with the techniques I am about to give you though. Here are some tips on how to spy on a cheating husband.

Watch His Internet Usage - If he uses the internet a lot, you can see what he has been doing on it and who he has been talking to. You can go the simple route and just look at the history in his web browser or the more advanced way. This is still easy though, you just download a software key logger and run it so that it captures conversations. This is totally legal on your own computer.

Go To His Social Places - You have to go to the places where he goes socially. Or at least offer to come with him. If you offer and he acts strange then he is probably hiding something. Another great idea is to go to the place and ask if a man of your husbands description was in there with a woman yesterday or whenever it was. The sooner after he has been there the better because bar staff change and their memories fade.

Check Out His Phone - You can check who he has been phoning by simply going through his contact list on his phone. A slightly more advanced way is to intercept the phone bill and if it is itemized, you can see who and when they have been phoning. Look out for long calls to numbers that do not appear to be usual. The most advanced and useful way though is to get the number and then prove before you say anything to him that he has been sleeping around behind your back.








Do you need evidence to prove to your spouse and more importantly yourself that they are cheating on you? Click Here for a mobile/cellphone search to find out about their lover.

Mobile Search


Lessons For Cheaters! Want To Cheat? Read Here!


Sometimes it really urks me when I see articles or see television shows that promote that archaic, totally old-fashioned idea that men stray because they are not getting sex from their wives or girlfriends. This is so old, it probably dates back to the caveman times.

Women should not be listening to such propaganda because the propaganda just serves to inflate the egos of men who are cheating on women. Surely these men and their extra-marital girlfriends really need to find some excuse for their cheating and what excuse is there? None. There is no good, valid excuse to cheat on someone, period.

But yet, the cheaters and their wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, search and search for an excuse and they feel that having no sex is a good reason for straying. And by the way, they call it straying when they should simply label it cheating. There, how does that sound? Harsh, correct? Ahh, it does sound harsher than straying. After all straying sounds like you are talking about a poor little kitten who has lost their way. But cheating , on the other hand, sounds exactly like what it is.

If you are a man or woman and you are married, engaged or going with, dedicated to one person, and you decide to have sex or intimate relations with someone else, you are plain, outright cheating!

That is fine if your character and personality decide to do that but do not sugar-coat your cheating with attempts to belittle your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend and do not accuse them for your cheating. Your cheating is entirely your fault. I do not care if you have not had sex in five years, when you make that decision to go with someone else, you are outright cheating, And as hard for you to believe it, you have no excuse for cheating. Yes, you heard that right. You cannot blame the number of times that you have sex with your wife or girlfriend or boyfriend for your cheating. It is entirely up to you, your own mind and body if and when you want to cheat. So take responsibility for that instead of being childish and trying to blame others for your lack.

And to you -the cheaters, I ask you this. Have you considered that there might be good reasons why your loved one is not having any sex with you? Have you even considered that your loved one might have excellent reasons for not having sex with you. Probably not. You look to blame so you probably do not look to yourself.

And to those who feel sorry for those poor men or women who have not been able to have sex with their partners, I offer these thoughts, ideas and suggestions also:


Some loved ones stop having sex with the partner after the partner has raped them. Ahh, valid reason, correct? Yes. Very valid. No normal human being wants to have sex with anyone who has violently raped them. Yet, outsiders would feel sorry for this poor man whose wife is denying him sex, correct? Correct. What rapist is going to tell his new girlfriend that he violently raped his wife? None.

Some loved ones stop having sex because the partner is or was or continues to be abusive. Valid reason, correct? Yes. Very valid reason. Yet, there is this person who goes out and cries that his wife will not have sex with him and then there are the bimbos (oops) that believe that story and do not even wonder why the wife will not have sex with him but automatically blame the wife for it. Ahh, he has good reason to cheat, correct? Wrong.

Then there are those guys who are married and have no problem with their wives and yet they claim that their wife is not having sex with them. And they come to you--the extra-marrital girlfriend for sex because they are supposedly being denied sex, correct? Yes, that is what they do.

Think about realities of life. When a man and woman or some same-sex couple are actually treating each other with respect and when they are happy together , there is never any sexual problem or denial on any long-term basis. Yes, of course, people are human and some can have an off-day or the typical headache that people joke about. But for the most part, when couples treat each other with respect, and when they are kind and considerate towards each other as a general rule, there never is any sexual problem.

It is a very valid reason for a woman to not have sex with a man who is abusing her or with a man who has raped her NO matter what title that man has. It does not matter that the man is the husband. (And the same thing goes for women and same -sex male or female partners). When people are happy with each other, there is no sexual withholding. Lovers and people who care about each other, love each other and respect each other, can always find ways to be happy with each other without resorting to cheating. And that is a plain simple fact of human nature.

What made me write this article? I, accidentally came across an article about relationships, and began reading it. And when I got to the old-fashioned idea that women send their men away by denying sex, that really had me laughing. Why laughing? I was laughing at the idea that anyone would actually believe that statement. And then I left this comment at the article because I had to put my two-cents into this laughable, serious idea. Contradictions? Yes.

Bottom line is that cheaters cheat and they have themselves to blame. If a woman has made herself unattractive to a spouse, she can have very good reasons for doing that. And the side of the story that the cheater (the extra-girlfriend) sees is just that this poor man was denied sex and that his wife does not make herself look good. Well, bimbo, (oops), would you make yourself look attractive to a violent rapist? I am sure not.

My point is this. Do not make judgments when you have no idea of what the real story is about. You are judging incorrectly. Perhaps I judge too when I say , hey bimbo. So, sorry. But it seems so silly to believe a lame-idea that men cheat because women send them away to other women. Hey, not in this world. Wake up and smell the coffee. Men cheat because men want to cheat. And all men are not cheats. So that explains that.

Here is the comment that I left at the other website that gave that old, archaic, old-fashioned idea that cheating men are women's faults. Not in this world!

As for "denying sex", that does not send anyone away except the man who was away or going away anyway. How do we, as women, know that? Think of all the men and women who are in the service. They are overseas , at war or serving somewhere else. Now, so many of them are married , and happily married, but you do not see the bulk of them "going to some other men or women" just because circumstances give them no sex. If servicemen and women can hold out --having no sex-- then certainly ANY man or woman can hold out too, if there are circumstances or other things in the relationship that require, suggest or need an abstinence from sex.


Some - No woman "sends" a man to other women. Most mature men make their own decisions in their own lives and that includes the decision to go somewhere else.

I am not promoting the idea, but just stating that to blame women for men who cheat and men who date while married or engaged is not exactly the one hundred percent true side of the story. Your article sounds as if you are saying that men stray (cheaters cheat) just because women withhold sex.

Have you thought it might be the other way around? Have you thought that some women might not want to have sex with a cheater --even if they are married to the cheater?

These are just other ideas, other ways of thinking besides that old-fashioned idea of thinking that poor men stray because they cannot have any sex.

The next time you are thinking of blaming the wife just because you think that she does not wear the right makeup or because you think she does not look good, think again. You should check out her picture BEFORE she married the guy, you might be surprised to see that she was very pretty. Are you the next ugly woman in that cheater's life? Are you; will you be? Good luck.








Melinda Thomas is presently touring the United States of America in search for information, true stories, inside data on what is happening around the world inside of nursing homes and physical rehabilitation and care centers. The material that she has come across, both through personal inspection, investigation, research and organization, is remarkable in length, content and tear-jerking memories. She hopes that you share your ideas with her as soon as possible. While her subject topics vary from radical consumerism, computers, teamwork and others, she hunts for the truth and the truth is forthcoming.While her subject topics vary from radical consumerism, computers, teamwork and others, she hunts for the truth and the truth is forthcoming. Meanwhile read all the articles and connect with her through her agent at onenewbeginning@yahoo.com


5 Tips On Getting Over Your First Love








For most of us, getting over your first love can seem impossible. It's hard to believe that we can ever really be happy again or that we will ever find someone who 'gets' us the same way our love did. The truth is, no matter how hard it is to believe right now, that as humans we are capable of loving many people. We can love very deeply and while we won't love each person in exactly the same way, we can have more than one 'true love' in our lifetimes. The most important thing you need to do is get yourself in a position where you will be able to love again, and that will take some time.





Here are the best steps for making a clean break so that you can move on and find love at some point:





1. You have to face the fact that your relationship is over. This is unbelievably hard to do. You thought the two of you would be together forever and you can't imagine that it could really be over. You have to face the fact that it is over and cut off all communication with your ex.





2. Do not allow yourself to hide away. A few days, or weeks, of wallowing and hiding out is ok, but after that it's time for you to rejoin the world. That's not to say that you should start dating, you probably shouldn't at this point, but you can start spending time with family and friends and not just moping around in your bathrobe for days on end.





3. Do those things that you weren't able to do when the two of you were together. In all relationships there are things that one person doesn't want to do and more often than not the person who does like to do it doesn't get the chance. Now is the time to revisit those things that you've put on hold. Remember the activities and places that once brought you joy and let them bring you joy again.





4. Take this time to reevaluate who you are and what you want. Make yourself the best 'you' you can be. Lose weight, take a class, find a new job, paint your house, it doesn't matter what it is as long as it will have a positive impact on your life. These types of activities will make you feel a little more in control and will help you grow as a person. They can also give you something to distract yourself from the pain you are feeling, at least for a short time.





5. This is the hardest one... give yourself time. Whether you believe it or not at this point, some day the pain will fade and just be a memory and when that day comes you will be ready to love again. You have to give yourself the time you need to mourn your lost love and regain your strength. Don't let others tell you when you should be over it, you will get over it at your pace. However, if you don't seem to be moving forward even a little after several months you may need to have a counselor help you through the grieving process.





Getting over your first love will seem like an impossible task. After all, this is the first time you've ever felt like this and it's easy to believe that you could never possible feel this way again, but you can, and if you give yourself time you will.


Does Love Help You Live Longer - The Real Answer








Does love help you live longer? What a great question! Statistics show that happily married couples live as much as five years longer than their single counterparts (with the effect being somewhat more pronounced in married men). Because it is so subjective, it is impossible to accurately measure love with statistics. However, with a cursory glance of the data, it seems reasonably safe to assume that love, does, in some way, lead people to spend a few more years among the living.





Everybody agrees that being loved is a wonderful feeling. Knowing that somebody cares for us is hard to explain in words, but it sure feels good! Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if you smiled a little bit just now thinking about the people that love you. And though true love towards someone doesn't require that they love you back, I bet you just so happen to return love to those who love you most.





Loving others means you are unselfish when dealing with them. Caring for someone else's happiness and well-being takes your focus off of you and puts other people first. This can be a marvelous way to reduce stress that would otherwise steal years from our lives.





Another quick answer to the question "does love help you live longer" is, "hate sure makes you die sooner". Hating others only increases other negative feelings and stress. Have you ever felt a certain something pumping through your body when you hate someone or something? Your whole physiology changes. Besides, it's wasted energy, because those that are the subject of our hatred either don't care how we feel, or have no idea how we feel.





One more aspect of love and longevity is that love often gives us a reason to keep on living. Men and women throughout the world have survived horrendous situations (man-made and natural) only because they focused on seeing their loved ones once again. If that's not a testament to the life-extending power of love, I don't know what is!





The connection between emotional health and physical health is still not completely understood. However, there are clear links between the two. The human body is, in many ways, greater than the sum of its parts. Another way to look at it is if we are in prime physical shape, but are emotional wrecks, then we are not getting all life has to offer.





Let's be realistic for a moment, shall we? Love may not keep you from getting hit by a bus when crossing the street, but it can make recovering from such an accident more bearable. Even if love can't be proven to help you live longer, I know I would rather have a few short years of loving someone, instead of having several lifetimes without any love at all.





There are two easy ways to use love to increase the quality of life. The first is to show love towards others. That not only includes family and friends, but everyone you deal with in some capacity. The second way can be a bit trickier for some: allow others to love you. Keep the following phrase in mind as you go about your day, and see what a difference it makes. The phrase? "Let love happen".


I Want My Husband Back Some Tips For Reconciliation








If you are separated from your husband physically or emotionally, the thought of the failure of your relationship can be unbearable. You do not want to give up on your marriage, so all you think is I want my husband back. Depending on the extent of the problems between the two of you, reconciliation can be difficult but not impossible.





You may have tried everything that you can think of to get him back to no avail. Here are some other ideas to consider to help you reach your goal of reconciliation.





1. Give him some space. Some men feel limited in their marriage, like they are boxed in. The more limitations he feels are placed on him may make him distant and emotionally unavailable due to this feeling. By having a little freedom to tinker in the garage, watch sports or hang out with the guys on a regular basis, your husband will appreciate it and enjoy the time he spends with you and your family more.





2. Limit contact. If you are separated from your husband, keep your contact with him to a minimum. This is important because it will give him a chance to work through his feelings of the separation. While your separation has been very upsetting to you, it can be just as upsetting to him. You may be thinking I want my husband back so I need to talk to him and reason with him to pull your marriage together, but constant contact could prove to be more divisive than helpful. By limiting contact, you give both of you the time you need to step back and look at your situation objectively and make positive changes that can bring you together again.





3. Be introspective. Regardless of who is at fault for the problems in your marriage, both of you need to work together to mend your relationship. Be objective and take a look at your faults. Think about what you can do or changes you can make that can bring you together. This can involve being a better listener, nagging less or showing your husband more attention.





4. Set priorities. Your relationship with your husband may have deteriorated due to your work or other commitments outside of your home. Find ways to make time for your husband and show him how important he is to you. It is also important for him to do the same for you. As determined as you may to get your husband back, unless you both work towards a resolution it will not happen.





5. Listen. When he is ready to talk, make sure that you listen to everything he has to say as objectively as possible. Address any questions he has directly and communicate your feelings clearly to him. Have an honest discussion with him and make sure that he feels that he is heard and understood. This is an emotional situation that you are in, however be as calm as possible as getting upset will not be helpful.