Sometimes it really urks me when I see articles or see television shows that promote that archaic, totally old-fashioned idea that men stray because they are not getting sex from their wives or girlfriends. This is so old, it probably dates back to the caveman times.
Women should not be listening to such propaganda because the propaganda just serves to inflate the egos of men who are cheating on women. Surely these men and their extra-marital girlfriends really need to find some excuse for their cheating and what excuse is there? None. There is no good, valid excuse to cheat on someone, period.
But yet, the cheaters and their wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, search and search for an excuse and they feel that having no sex is a good reason for straying. And by the way, they call it straying when they should simply label it cheating. There, how does that sound? Harsh, correct? Ahh, it does sound harsher than straying. After all straying sounds like you are talking about a poor little kitten who has lost their way. But cheating , on the other hand, sounds exactly like what it is.
If you are a man or woman and you are married, engaged or going with, dedicated to one person, and you decide to have sex or intimate relations with someone else, you are plain, outright cheating!
That is fine if your character and personality decide to do that but do not sugar-coat your cheating with attempts to belittle your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend and do not accuse them for your cheating. Your cheating is entirely your fault. I do not care if you have not had sex in five years, when you make that decision to go with someone else, you are outright cheating, And as hard for you to believe it, you have no excuse for cheating. Yes, you heard that right. You cannot blame the number of times that you have sex with your wife or girlfriend or boyfriend for your cheating. It is entirely up to you, your own mind and body if and when you want to cheat. So take responsibility for that instead of being childish and trying to blame others for your lack.
And to you -the cheaters, I ask you this. Have you considered that there might be good reasons why your loved one is not having any sex with you? Have you even considered that your loved one might have excellent reasons for not having sex with you. Probably not. You look to blame so you probably do not look to yourself.
And to those who feel sorry for those poor men or women who have not been able to have sex with their partners, I offer these thoughts, ideas and suggestions also:
Some loved ones stop having sex with the partner after the partner has raped them. Ahh, valid reason, correct? Yes. Very valid. No normal human being wants to have sex with anyone who has violently raped them. Yet, outsiders would feel sorry for this poor man whose wife is denying him sex, correct? Correct. What rapist is going to tell his new girlfriend that he violently raped his wife? None.
Some loved ones stop having sex because the partner is or was or continues to be abusive. Valid reason, correct? Yes. Very valid reason. Yet, there is this person who goes out and cries that his wife will not have sex with him and then there are the bimbos (oops) that believe that story and do not even wonder why the wife will not have sex with him but automatically blame the wife for it. Ahh, he has good reason to cheat, correct? Wrong.
Then there are those guys who are married and have no problem with their wives and yet they claim that their wife is not having sex with them. And they come to you--the extra-marrital girlfriend for sex because they are supposedly being denied sex, correct? Yes, that is what they do.
Think about realities of life. When a man and woman or some same-sex couple are actually treating each other with respect and when they are happy together , there is never any sexual problem or denial on any long-term basis. Yes, of course, people are human and some can have an off-day or the typical headache that people joke about. But for the most part, when couples treat each other with respect, and when they are kind and considerate towards each other as a general rule, there never is any sexual problem.
It is a very valid reason for a woman to not have sex with a man who is abusing her or with a man who has raped her NO matter what title that man has. It does not matter that the man is the husband. (And the same thing goes for women and same -sex male or female partners). When people are happy with each other, there is no sexual withholding. Lovers and people who care about each other, love each other and respect each other, can always find ways to be happy with each other without resorting to cheating. And that is a plain simple fact of human nature.
What made me write this article? I, accidentally came across an article about relationships, and began reading it. And when I got to the old-fashioned idea that women send their men away by denying sex, that really had me laughing. Why laughing? I was laughing at the idea that anyone would actually believe that statement. And then I left this comment at the article because I had to put my two-cents into this laughable, serious idea. Contradictions? Yes.
Bottom line is that cheaters cheat and they have themselves to blame. If a woman has made herself unattractive to a spouse, she can have very good reasons for doing that. And the side of the story that the cheater (the extra-girlfriend) sees is just that this poor man was denied sex and that his wife does not make herself look good. Well, bimbo, (oops), would you make yourself look attractive to a violent rapist? I am sure not.
My point is this. Do not make judgments when you have no idea of what the real story is about. You are judging incorrectly. Perhaps I judge too when I say , hey bimbo. So, sorry. But it seems so silly to believe a lame-idea that men cheat because women send them away to other women. Hey, not in this world. Wake up and smell the coffee. Men cheat because men want to cheat. And all men are not cheats. So that explains that.
Here is the comment that I left at the other website that gave that old, archaic, old-fashioned idea that cheating men are women's faults. Not in this world!
As for "denying sex", that does not send anyone away except the man who was away or going away anyway. How do we, as women, know that? Think of all the men and women who are in the service. They are overseas , at war or serving somewhere else. Now, so many of them are married , and happily married, but you do not see the bulk of them "going to some other men or women" just because circumstances give them no sex. If servicemen and women can hold out --having no sex-- then certainly ANY man or woman can hold out too, if there are circumstances or other things in the relationship that require, suggest or need an abstinence from sex.
Some - No woman "sends" a man to other women. Most mature men make their own decisions in their own lives and that includes the decision to go somewhere else.
I am not promoting the idea, but just stating that to blame women for men who cheat and men who date while married or engaged is not exactly the one hundred percent true side of the story. Your article sounds as if you are saying that men stray (cheaters cheat) just because women withhold sex.
Have you thought it might be the other way around? Have you thought that some women might not want to have sex with a cheater --even if they are married to the cheater?
These are just other ideas, other ways of thinking besides that old-fashioned idea of thinking that poor men stray because they cannot have any sex.
The next time you are thinking of blaming the wife just because you think that she does not wear the right makeup or because you think she does not look good, think again. You should check out her picture BEFORE she married the guy, you might be surprised to see that she was very pretty. Are you the next ugly woman in that cheater's life? Are you; will you be? Good luck.
Melinda Thomas is presently touring the United States of America in search for information, true stories, inside data on what is happening around the world inside of nursing homes and physical rehabilitation and care centers. The material that she has come across, both through personal inspection, investigation, research and organization, is remarkable in length, content and tear-jerking memories. She hopes that you share your ideas with her as soon as possible. While her subject topics vary from radical consumerism, computers, teamwork and others, she hunts for the truth and the truth is forthcoming.While her subject topics vary from radical consumerism, computers, teamwork and others, she hunts for the truth and the truth is forthcoming. Meanwhile read all the articles and connect with her through her agent at onenewbeginning@yahoo.com
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